This summer I jumped off a cliff. Once in the water looking up, it seemed much shorter. We trusted our friend that the water was deep enough and after watching everyone do it, I walked down to the water.
But then we went back the next day and I did it! That was pysically scary- the decision to do something your body and mind know is dangerous. The feeling of going through the air for the first time, waiting to see what it will feel like- really scary. I was so surprised and happy with myself.
And then a family with teenagers showed up and proceeded to jump a million times and do back flips. Whatever, for me, that was still my accomplishment.
I want to know how to make cheese, how to raise goats, how to harvest lettuce so that it doesn't grow super tall and alien looking. (you know what I mean if you've attempted to grow lettuce in your beginner garden and don't realize you have to pull leaves pretty often...) It's scary to follow a path that not only is different from mainstream eating, but can also get people pretty heated.
I was not scared to start a gluten free, or even a grain and sugar free diet, because I desperately wanted to feel better. Yet a lot of people who struggle with feeling poorly and digestive issues don't want to make changes in their diet because they're scared. Maybe they cover it by saying they feel comfortable with the status quo, or like I've heard from many many people, they just could never give up beer. But ultimately they're scared to feel uncomfortable or have to explain their changes in lifestyle. But how scary is feeling crappy everyday, always feeling bloated or having anxiety about where the closest bathroom is. Or that later on in life there's an increased chance of lymphoma- way scarier!
Countless people comment on how resilient dogs are, how well she compensates, some get tears in their eyes and some even tell us she bought our ticket into heaven, I totally get it. I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel fear, given that she sticks her head into any hole she can find and will chase a raccoon in a second. But while scary may not be the right word- she connects me to people I meet on the street that I normally would never have reason to talk to in passing. I love to think about those little moments and the simple relationships that are forged.
Instead of being frustrated by not having the even close to perfect space, I just started working (on the floor no less). It's like I had to push through that murky feeling and just do things already. There are so many things that I want to do in life and it's scary to imagine that I won't do them all, probably not even close. I hate that thought! But breaking my lofty hopes, dreams, goals and ideas into something tangible every couple of days helps me get things done, but it also helps me feel like myself and that I have something positive to offer.
And isn't that scarf I'm wearing so cute? They'll be up soon in limited editions at my shop: www.peacockmercantiles.etsy.com