I've thought a lot about this post and it's a long time coming.
There are a lot of other things I want to do and that I always imagined I would do. When I was younger I had two general desires- to live a life I wanted and to not base my life around money. And currently money is a bigger issue than I'd like and I'm not really living the life I want. So to put it simply, it's time to change, get back to what I truly want and make things happen.
This past summer I decided to stay home, not work a traditional job, and take the time to truly focus on me and what I really wanted for my life. As a teacher I have the summers off and I've always used that time to work a part time job. I am generally so burnt out from teaching for the year that I'm dying for rest, me time and new experiences. While it seems crazy to not take that time to earn some extra money, the summer is only so long and is easily filled with bbqs, weekend trips, vacations and outings with friends. So I decided to listen to my gut and give myself that time. I did a ton of basically, thinking.
The decision sounded simple at first, but the reality was a little more difficult. It turns out, I wasn't totally sure of the details of what I really wanted- I had a lot to figure out.
I started some habits that I've kept up and they have made all the difference:
1. Journaling, Business Plan, Brain Dump, Vision writing- whatever you call it, I've been doing it a ton. Basically I started writing this summer about every single detail I could think of that pertained to my future, my life, me, and what I wanted and envisioned. After a while there were some common themes and it helped me to see the big ideas of what I want.
2. I've separated what I can do and what I really want to do. This has been a huge realization because there are a lot of jobs that I could do and that I would even be interested in- but what is the vision I really have for my life and what do I want above all else? That's what I had to figure out. Which brings me to:
3. I've realized what I really want!!! Which has allowed me to have an overarching vision, which in turn has allowed me to have small, achievable steps that will get me to the end goal. I am still interested in a lot of things and want to do so many things in the future, but now I see how they connect and how I can really do them.
Taking the time to write and think sounds so simple and easy, but it wasn't. I felt like I was doing a monumental thing to step away from being busy, making extra money and using my time in the most constructive way. But looking back to this past June, I realize I've come a long way and have made a lot of decisions I could not have made if I had not taken that time for myself. I was building in quiet, peaceful, meditative, self-reflecting time that I haven't really allowed myself in years. I began to see that there are certain things I need that I haven't been doing for myself. And those things are:
1. Live a simpler life
2. Be happy more often
3. Be creative and make things
Again, these things look so simple as I write them, but they're not. Our life has sort of become routine, predictable, stressful and I've basically strayed from my true personality. We're happy together and have a good life, but when I started giving myself that time to think and reflect, I realized a lot of the basic things that I want in a life have sort of become clouded over.
So here it all is:
I want to own my own business that eventually turns into a brick and mortar store
I want to be around my future babies and my dog during the day
I want to have control over my time and get outside during the day for sunshine and fresh air
I want to be out in nature a whole lot more
I want to have time to be creative, make things and make artwork
I want to sell my paintings and eventually have a fabric and paper goods line
I want to write a cookbook, art book and children's books
So to get to all those goals I'll be posting my paintings, new art lessons and some other style and life posts on this blog. I've changed the layout a bit with new labels and pages up at the top, and I'm considering changing the name- but we'll see on that. Have a great weekend, and here's to listening to our guts!